Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I write rubbish, and my pharmacophobia

….do you know who eats alone? Only vultures do. Humans eat with other humans…. . Since you were gone, my life-long companion, I … I eat alone.

Since you were gone my one true friend … I became friendless ….. I made a blog to talk to strangers on.

Our friend, Mrs. A, called me today. She gave me the headache you always said her calls give … but for another reason … she did what I dreaded and avoided for weeks…. she asked me about you….

I stopped listening to Rachmaninoff … since you -my only true equal- were gone …. I can’t read, and I write rubbish.

Since you were gone -my day and night nurse, I go to my hospital appointments alone…. I hear good news….. alone ….. I have to explain to strangers my episodes of pharmacophobia ……. I have to explain…. while almost going thru one……. Since you were gone I buy the medicine alone, I agonize whether to take it or not to for hours and hours ….alone , since you were gone, I don’t take any of my medications cause I fear going thru a panic-attack alone, I decide to seek help from a professional psychiatrist but then I decide not …. Cause I don’t wanna go alone.

P.S.: Pharmacophobia- Fear of taking medicine, or drugs.

Posted by SaudiEve at 8:30 AM


  1. Blogger raf* posted at 12:09 PM, November 29, 2005  

    how does one comment on something that makes you speechless?


    just sitting back & drinking the words, savoring them.

    i'll be coming back to this post again & again.

  2. Blogger DeeDee posted at 7:29 PM, November 29, 2005  
    Friendless!! ugggggggh I hate this feeling :(
  3. Blogger ordinary girl posted at 1:26 AM, November 30, 2005  
    No exaggeration!!! You did a spectacular job...
  4. Blogger Trevelyana posted at 7:09 AM, November 30, 2005  
    know how you feel.. :(
  5. Blogger ahmed posted at 10:00 AM, November 30, 2005  
    that is just sad!!

    Eve..I've been through this once..and I got over it..I'm sure U will get over it too :)
  6. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 6:51 AM, May 30, 2006  
    Hello! This is an amazing poem. I came across it while surfing the net for information on "pharmacophobia."

    Do you suffer from pharmacophobia? If so, could you please e-mail me? Just tonight I realized there was an actual diagnosis of the fear of medicine. I broke out in tears at the discovery. If there is a dagnosis, then there must be a hope of a cure! I would like to find out more about the treatment there is for this phobia. It has affected my life & my health in such a great way.

    My e-mail adress is:

    I would truly appreciate you e-mailing me.

    Thank you for posting this poem!

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