Saturday, January 27, 2007

One post, two versions

in Arabic

لدي حلم يقظة متكرر..
امشي في شارع سعودي, مرتدية عباءة. كل شكل من اشكال المضايقات التي قد تعرضت لها في شارع سعودي (التحديق و المراقبة, التخويف الديني,الدعوات الجنسية الفاضحة...الخ) تتحول بشكل رمزي لإنسان يسحب طرف عبائتي بقوة تختلف بحجم المضايقة. بيدي سلاح شعاعي مستقبلي, اطلق عليهم, فيتبخرون.. يكبر حجمي مع كل طلقة اطلقها, كما ينقطع الجزء المصاب من العباءة.. بعد عدة طلقات اكون قد اصبحت طويلة جداً (بطول منزل من طابقين) و شبه عارية, لم يتبقى من العباءة الا قطعتان تشبهان ما ترتديه الراقصة الشرقية, لكن بلون اسود. مع ذلك فلا احد يقرب مني الآن, لأنهم يخافون.

بعد ذلك, اكمل مشيي في الشوارع السعودية.. انثى, بلا مضايقات.

& In English

I have a persisting daydream..
I walk a Saudi street.. I'm wearing a abaya.. every type of harassment I've ever been subjugated to on a Saudi street (staring, terrifying religious advice, explicit sexual advances..etc.) are instead represented by one action: people pulling on my abaya, one after the other, force depends on how severe the harassment is..

I carry this futuristic beam weapon, I shoot them, they evaporize.
I become larger with each hit I make.. and the abaya gets torn a bit each time.. after a couple of hits, I'm very large (tall as a two story house) and almost naked, I'm left with a two piece ensemble that looks like a belly dancers' costume but black.. yet no one comes near me now.. they are afraid..

after that, I just walk the streets of Saudi.. feminine, and undisturbed.

Wish I could get pixar to produce it, would make a great animated video clip ...

Posted by SaudiEve at 2:57 PM 31 comments

Thursday, January 25, 2007

شدي حيلك يا بلد 2

قيل الكثير في حادثة مسرحية "وسطي بلا وسطية", هذا رأيي المتأخر

أعزائي المتأسلمون,

لم يعد رأيكم هو الأوحد في السعودية.
انتهى الموضوع..


Posted by SaudiEve at 4:30 PM 3 comments

Monday, January 22, 2007

Shde 7elk ya bld..

Usually Eve's posts are serene,

Adventures of a ninja woman..
At a meeting last Sunday a Ninja Woman very discreetly handed me a note that read "please cover your hair, thank you"..
Here's the thing; this isn't the first time.. but, her being all covered up, and me being a not so attentive person, I'm not sure she's the same woman, yet I have a feeling!.
Thus, next time I'll be well prepared for her with a note that reads: "please leave the meeting at once and go kill your mama coz she didn't teach you manners, thank you"

I drive, I sue, I'm a FUCKEN lefty..
What would happen if today, instead of having my chauffeur drive my car, I drive it myself. No, not with twenty other women in a parade manner... No CNN, just plain ol' me... going to work..

What would happen if today, instead of saying "jazak allah 5eir" (God bless you) to any person who recites the hadith of a perfumed woman being an adulterous, I sue for qthf.. and emotional trauma?

What would happen if today, instead of saying "oops", smiling, then passing the spoon to my right hand, I say "I am a fucken LEFTY you fucken imbecile!. I can't eat with my fucken right hand even if it meant that the fucken devil will get a fucken bite of my fucken kabsa. So unless you'd fucken feed me yourself –with your fucken right hand of course- say bon fucken appétit Mr. devil"
…what would happen indeed!

"here comes success"
An international Guru in my field asked me to showcase one of my (dearest) projects at a conference she's organizing.
My thoughts:
1- yippee! that's exactly my dream (to revolutionize the field, and to get a chance to brag about it in front of older, more educated, and experienced people than i)
2- I'm a bit hesitant.. it has to be me who delivers the spectacle, cause it's my baby.. but my voice isn't exactly presentation material (people tend to focus on the voice rather than what I'm saying)

I LOVE that movie, "closer"

*indulge me on this one*
I believe one writes her/his best while on the verge of insanity.
I believe religion is the opium of the masses.
I believe we –as a race- are self-destructive.
I believe perception is the only truth in the world, nothing else is (it's a matter of perception).
I believe in retiring; Work is illogical.
I believe I'm not saying anything genuine. I believe unless I say "ju haw twe" I'll only be mediocre.

I believe that being genuine is overrated.

employee of the month
I did it.
Five consecutive months in Saudi/working.. (yes, this one explains the un-serene post)

Posted by SaudiEve at 2:34 PM 4 comments